


The Tale of the Accidental Wedding of Loki Laufeyson and Steve Rogers

by glowydean



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Accidental Marriage, Alcohol, Bathtubs, Beyonce - Freeform, Drunkenness, F/M, Las Vegas, Love, M/M, Marriage, Single Ladies, Sleep, drunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-11
Updated: 2012-12-11
Packaged: 2017-11-20 21:42:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/589946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glowydean/pseuds/glowydean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thor is getting married and he whisks the boys down to Las Vegas for a night of drinking and dancing.  Tony has injected Steve with a serum that temporarily allows him to become drunk, which results in a huge lapse of judgement, and a Vegas wedding.  This is usually what happens when 'Single Ladies' comes on at a club.</p><p>or “That Time When Loki Liked It And Put A Ring On It"</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Tale of the Accidental Wedding of Loki Laufeyson and Steve Rogers

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this as part of the Deviant Art 'Accidental Wedding' challenge. I was initially thinking about doing something else, i.e on Asgard, where Thor and Jane are still getting married and then shit goes down, but I decided that Vegas would ultimately be a little easier, and perhaps a little more fun to write. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!!

Music thumped wildly, loudly,  _savagely_ , through the large speakers placed strategically around the club. Steve felt as though he were drowning all over again, this time, in a pool of light, shadow and sound. The beats wrapped themselves around him, and almost hypnotically he felt himself moving along to the strange tunes. The lights flashed and blinked at him, whites and greens and reds and blues. He felt bodies brush up against him, sweaty bodies, people who had drowned themselves as well in the music and the lights, and most importantly, in  _liquor_. He blinked several times as images swirled in front of him, flashes of skin and teeth and hair. Someone brushed up against him, this time, more familiar than the rest. He looked up and saw that it was Tony, stumbling back from the bar, of course, with three glasses in his hands. Steve's eyes drifted to his arm where he could see the little pinprick on the surface of his skin. Even in the dim light he could make out the spot, the slightly raised mound of flesh where Tony had injected him with some strange type of serum that he had developed especially for this night. Steve had so wanted to fit in, to be drunk and make stupid decisions with the rest of the guys for once, for Thor's bachelor party, that he had stupidly agreed to Tony's extremely stupid idea.

Now, here he was, in the middle of some strange, hot club, drunk out of his mind, dancing to music that sounded like two robots having sex. He chuckled to himself as that thought drifted to his mind, and wordlessly accepted the glass that Tony shoved into his hand. He looked over and saw that Bruce and Clint were each dancing with women who were scantily clad. Thor too was dancing but to Steve's amusement, there was a large space around him since it seemed that everyone was too scared to dance too close to him. Steve realized that Tony was shouting something at him but he could not hear him above the music. He sluggishly pulled himself closer to Tony, only to realize that he was asking him  _where is Loki?_  Steve frowned and looked around at the sea of faces surrounding him. He searched amongst them for Loki's angular face, for the flashing of green eyes and the dark hair, but he could not see him. How had he managed to lose him? They had been dancing together almost all night. Steve shook his head at Tony. Tony in turn shook his head at Thor who seemed to be equally puzzled by his brother's disappearance. Steve decided that he would walk around and try to locate Loki in the madness. He took a long sip from the glass Tony had given him and set off in the direction of the bathroom.

As he moved through the crowd, he realized just how drunk he really was. Everything shifted as he walked and he thought for a second that the room had been spinning. A beautiful young woman smiled at him and placed her palms on his chest. She stood on her tiptoes and whispered something into his ear. He smiled back at her, wishing he could hear what she was trying to say. He gently removed her hands from his body and moved away from her. He looked back and saw that she was frowning at him and then rolled her eyes as he walked away. The music seemed to be getting louder and louder as he moved further away from the dance floor, which made absolutely no sense. He paused for a moment to suck down the rest of the alcohol in his glass and that was when he spotted Loki, sitting at the bar, struggling with the little tiny straws in his glass. Steve could not help but grin at him, this magnificent God who was sitting at a bar of all places trying to get the little straws into his mouth so he could drink the alcohol in the glass. Steve snorted when Loki tossed the straws onto the wooden bar and downed the drink in one go. Steve made his way over to Loki and tapped him on the shoulder. The God turned to him, annoyed, but smiled when he realized that it was Steve. Steve pulled out the stool next to him and sat down. He waved the bartender over.

"What will you have?" she asked.

Steve looked at his glass and then shrugged. "I don't know. Something good," he shouted.

The bartender grinned at him and nodded. "You got it," she said.

"What are you doing here by yourself? How did Tony not see you? He was just here…" Steve slurred at Loki.

Loki frowned. "I was tired of dancing. I don't know how Migardians can dance so much!" he shouted back.

"But I wasn't done dancing!" Steve said with a pout.

The bartender returned with a glass of some dangerous looking substance and placed it on a coaster in front of Steve.

Steve fumbled around for his wallet and the bartender shook her head.

"You're good. It's on Mr. Stark's tab," she said.

"Well in that case, I'll have another," Loki said raising his glass.

"Loki!" Steve said.

Loki turned to him. "Steve!" he shouted back.

"You're a good dancer," Steve said.

Loki laughed. "Stop lying, I'm fucking horrible at this!" he shouted back.

Steve rolled his eyes and sucked down the alcohol like it was fruit juice.

"I'm only here because Thor begged me to come," Loki said.

Steve flashed Loki a hurt look. "You mean you didn't come here to dance with me?" he asked, suddenly feeling bold. He thought he detected a faint blush in Loki's cheeks but he was not sure.

"I don't know," Loki said.

The bartender slid a glass over to him and he quickly brought it up to his lips.

The strange beats coming from the speakers had suddenly taken a different direction. Someone was singing something about being naughty and Steve just felt like the best thing to do in that moment was to kiss Loki Laufeyson, God of lies and mischief.  
He slid off the stool and closed the gap between him and Loki who was staring at him, confused.

"What are you doing, Steve?" Loki asked drunkenly.

Steve leaned over to Loki's ear. "I really want to kiss you," he said.

Loki's eyes flashed in the dim light and he wasted no time in pulling Steve closer to him.

Steve, who was usually a head shorter than Loki, found himself looking down on the God for the first time. He leaned over and pressed his lips against Loki's. He felt Loki's hands snake themselves around him, touching him in places that hadn't been touched by someone else other than himself for a very, very long time. Steve felt flushed, fueled by some mysterious type of heat. He took Loki's hand and dragged him off the stool and over to a dark corner of the room that he had spotted earlier.

They continued to make out like teenagers in the dark, Steve brushing his fingers against Loki's temple, and Loki, being not so subtle and brushing his fingers against the bulge in Steve's pants.

"Steve…" Loki said in a ragged voice.

The song on the speakers quite suddenly changed to something else that everyone in the club seemed to love. Steve pulled himself away from Loki and watched as all of the women began to dance with a renewed fervor.

Loki noticed this too and he began to laugh. "What is she singing about?" Loki asked.

"If you like it…then you should put a ring on it?" Steve said.

"Hmmm. A ring? Ah, the Migardian custom of exchanging rings when they are wed," Loki said.

"What do you exchange on your planet? Swords?" Steve joked.

"Yes, we do, actually," Loki said.

Steve burst out laughing and Loki stared at him with a mixture of amusement and wonder.

"Steve, Steve we should do it," Loki said suddenly.

"Do what?" Steve asked.

"We should put a ring on it!" Loki said.

Steve frowned. "We can't put a ring on it, what's the point?" he asked.

"Why not? I like you, you like me, we need to…put…rings on to show the world how we feel," Loki proclaimed.

"I mean I guess. Thor is putting a ring on Jane. And I'm sure Tony will eventually put a ring on Pepper. So, we should put rings on each other too! I still feel like we should probably wait till we're not really fucking drunk to do this," Steve said.

"This is the best time! When you're drunk you speak the truth, this would make so much sense for us to do this as two men who really, really like each other," Loki said, confident with drunk-logic.

Steve pondered on this for a moment, took a sip from his cup and then nodded.

"That makes the most sense. I've never heard anything that ever made so much sense in my whole life," he said.

Loki turned to face Steve and arranged his face in a serious mask.

"Steve Rogers, may I put a ring on it?" he asked, doing his best not to laugh.

"I don't know if that's how you're supposed to ask," Steve said frowning.

"Steve! I want to put a ring on it, come on don't ruin my fun!" he shouted.

Steve laughed. "You're supposed to get down on one knee!" he said.

Loki rolled his eyes and sighed. He got down on one knee and looked up at Steve who was positively blushing.

"Captain Steve Rogers, you have a beautiful face, and a beautiful ass, and I want to put a ring on it," he said.

Steve smiled and nodded. "Yes!" he said.

Loki rose up and kissed Steve on the lips, hard.

* * *

 When Steve woke up, he had no idea where he was. The room was dark and the only light was coming from what seemed to be the bathroom, several feet away. He heard a light snore and realized that someone was on the bed next to him. He pulled back the covers and realized that it was Tony. He yawned and swung his legs over the bed. That was when he stepped on Thor.

Thor apparently didn't feel all of the weight that Steve had accidentally placed on him and continued to sleep steadily.

Steve crossed over Thor's large frame and stumbled into the bathroom. The entire room was spinning around him and he felt sick to his stomach. His head was pounding and he wished there was a way to just turn it off. His mind tried to retrace his steps from last night but found that he was drawing a blank. The last thing he could remember was being on the dance floor, but after that, everything was just a big blank slot in his memory. Steve turned on the sink and splashed some cold water onto his face. He didn't like this feeling of not knowing what had happened last night. He felt as though a part of him were missing. As he washed his face he felt something scrape gently against his skin. He squinted at his hands and let out a low gasp when he saw the plain, gold band on his finger. His heart began to race. What the hell had happened last night?

He heard a soft groan from the bathtub and he cautiously pulled the shower curtain back. In the tub with a pillow behind him was Loki. There was something that suspiciously looked like vomit on his clothes and his skin looked pale and clammy.

Steve squatted down next to the tub and placed his hand against Loki's forehead. His temperature felt fine, he just looked…ill.

"Loki?" he whispered.

Loki moaned again and opened one eye. "Rogers?"

"You okay?" Steve asked.

"Where the fuck am I?" Loki asked.

"In the bathtub," Steve said with a small grin.

Loki closed his eyes. "I feel like I've been dragged around by a horse and then thrown off a cliff," he said. "Where are the others?" he asked.

"Thor's asleep on the floor, Tony is in bed, and I think Bruce and Clint are in the other bed," he said. "Do you remember what happened last night?" Steve asked.

Loki shook his head. "Not really, to be honest. I think this headache I have has pushed all of the memory out of my head," he said.

Loki moaned again and buried his face in his hands.

When Steve saw the plain, gold band on Loki's finger, he made a strange sound and tumbled backward. He fell onto the floor and remained there, staring at the ceiling.

"Steve are you alright?" Loki asked.

Steve's mouth felt dry. "What did we do last night?" Steve asked.

"I told you I don't remember," Loki snapped.

"Look at your hand," Steve said.

Loki rolled his eyes but looked down at his hand. When he saw the ring he laughed.

"Well then, it seems that I have taken part in your Migardian wedding custom. I wonder who the lucky woman is," he said.

Steve pulled himself up to a sitting position and smiled sheepishly. He showed his hand to Loki.

"Hi honey, I'm home," Steve said.

Loki's eyes grew as wide as saucers. "What are you talking about?" he asked.

"I don't know. I guess we got married?" Steve said. He was surprised at how easily he was digesting this information. Maybe he was still drunk.

"Perhaps we both married different people?" Loki suggested.

"Are you comfortable in there?" Steve asked.

Loki shrugged. "I can't really feel anything," he said with a small laugh.

"Do you think the guys would know?" Steve asked.

"I hope so," Loki said.

"You know what though, I'm so…tired. I think I'm just going to go back to bed for a while," Steve said getting up. "You sure you don't want to come to bed? I can roll Tony onto the floor. Or we can get the key card for the room next door and go in there," Steve said.

Loki lifted an eyebrow. "Are you trying to get me into your bed, Captain?" he asked with a mischievous grin.

"Well, you might be my husband," Steve joked.

"Hey love birds!" Tony said.

Steve and Loki watched as he stumbled into the bathroom and went into the smaller room with the toilet.

Steve and Loki exchanged a look.

When Tony came out of the room, he washed his hands and sat on the floor next to Steve. He leaned up against him and closed his eyes.

"Why'd you leave me? You were keeping me warm," he mumbled sleepily.

"Tony, do you know what happened last night?" Steve asked.

Tony did not respond but snored lightly.

"Stark!" Loki said.

Tony's eyes shot open. "Avengers assemble," he said drunkenly.

"Are you still drunk?" Steve asked.

"There is a high possibility of that," Tony slurred.

"Last night. Do you have any memory of what happened?" Loki pressed.

"Yeah, duh," Tony said.

"Can you tell us?" Steve asked gently.

"Yeah I can," Tony said, his eyes drooping closed.

"This is pointless. He is clearly still drunk," Loki snapped.

Someone belched loudly in front of them and all three of them looked up.

Standing before them was a very naked Thor. He had somehow managed to tie a sheet around his waist. When he saw them sitting on the floor, he hiccupped and laughed.

"My brothers," he said stretching his arms open wide.

"Thor, can you tell us what happened last night?" Steve asked.

"We dined together in the heated pool," Thor said.

"What?" Loki asked.

Thor walked past them and went into the room with the toilet.

When he came out, Loki groaned. "Thor, please tell me, did Rogers and I get married last night?" he asked.

Thor froze and turned to face them. "What?" he asked.

Steve gulped. "I don't think he knows," Steve whispered.

"What did you say?" Thor asked.

"Nothing," Steve said. He plastered a cheesy smile on his face.

Thor observed them. "There is something strange happening here," he said. He walked out of the bathroom without another word.

"Dude, your brother…I'm sorry, but did he not realize what you said?" Steve asked.

Loki shrugged. "That's Thor for you," he muttered.

"Tony get off me and go back to bed," Steve said.

Tony struggled to pull himself up and just slunk back down next to Steve. "But you're so warm, can't I just sleep here?" he asked.

Steve sighed and pulled himself to a standing position. He gingerly pulled Tony up and guided him out of the bathroom and back over to the bed. He noticed that Thor had taken up his position on the floor once more, this time with a pillow and a blanket. Steve's eyes adjusted to the dimness in the room and he saw that Bruce and Clint were sleeping on the other bed, wrapped in each other's arms.

"What the fuck?" he whispered, not even bothering to censor himself.

He shook his head and tucked Tony into the bed.

"Steve," Tony whispered as he began to walk away.

"What is it Tony?" Steve asked.

"Last night, you shoved something in my pocket and you told me to give it to you in the morning," Tony said.

Tony stuck his hand in his pocket and felt around for something. A few moments later, he pulled out a piece of paper that had been folded over and over again. He handed it to Steve who took it and walked into the bathroom.

Once he was in the bathroom, he saw that Loki had stripped himself of the dirty clothes and was now showering.

Steve closed the door and sat on the floor.

"I found something," Steve said.

"What is it?" Loki asked.

"A piece of paper that Tony had in his pocket," Steve said.

"And, what does it say?" Loki asked.

Steve unfolded the sheet of paper and his heart sank.

"It's a fucking coupon for the breakfast buffet downstairs!" Steve said angrily.

Loki turned the shower off and pulled the door open.

Steve found himself blushing as he observed Loki's lean body. Everything was covered with little beads of water.

"Loki," Steve murmured.

Loki rolled his eyes. "If I can't be naked in front of my husband then what kind of relationship do we have?" he joked.

Steve tossed a towel to Loki who began to dry himself off. Steve noted that Loki had kept his ring on.

Steve looked down at his hand and twisted the ring on his finger.

"What's bothering you?" Loki asked.

"Uh, we're probably married," Steve said.

"Well, what can we do about it? I mean, realistically, in this moment?" Loki asked.

Steve sighed. "You're right. Maybe I…maybe I knew that last night," he said.

Loki looked up at him. "What do you mean?" he asked.

Steve flashed the coupon at him. "Want to get breakfast?"

* * *

 Downstairs, the breakfast buffet was already humming with life. There were people on line, servers running around, and people sitting together eating.

Steve and Loki stood on the line as well to get in.

"What are you going to eat?" Steve asked.

"Everything," Loki said with a laugh.

Eventually, when they had loaded their plates with every possible thing they could fit onto it, they slipped into a booth towards the back.

Next to them was an old couple, feeding each other French fries and drinking coffee. The woman, gray haired and wearing a pink cardigan turned to Steve and Loki. She positively squealed when she saw them and clapped her hands together.

"Bill, look! It's our friends from last night!" she said.

Steve and Loki turned to the old couple, confused.

"Why yes! Steven and Loki I think, right?" Bill asked.

"I gave you that coupon last night, I'm glad you used it," the woman said.

The woman noted the blank stares from Steve and Loki and she chuckled.

"You don't remember us," she said.

Steve shook his head. "I'm very sorry, Ma'am, but I don't. Maybe you can tell us what happened last night," he said.

"I'm Elaine, and this is my husband Bill. We got married last night, right after you two," she said.

Loki choked on his coffee and he set his mug down on the table.

"I'm pretty sure you two were drunk out of your minds last night," Bill said.

"But the way you looked at each other, I knew there was something there, a little spark, something," Elaine said.

"Your friends were there too. Three of them, I think," Bill supplied.

Steve looked crestfallen.

"Oh, honey. Don't fret. This is Vegas. What happens here stays here. People do this all the time. You can always get it annulled," Elaine said.

Steve observed Bill and Elaine and couldn't help but smile. "How come you two got married here?" he asked.

Elaine smiled. "Bill and I have known each other for years. We've always liked each other but…never had the guts to do anything about it. So, when Bill's wife left him, we decided to come here and…have some fun," she explained.

"And last night, we bumped into you two on the way to the chapel. We were getting cold feet," Bill said.

"And you told us, that if we loved each other, we should just do it," Elaine finished.

"I did?" Steve asked.

"No he did," she said pointing to Loki.

Loki's cheeks flushed.

"Elaine, you know what he really said," Bill said.

Elaine giggled. "Oh yes, he said to Bill, if you like it, put a ring on it," she said.

They both laughed.

Steve and Loki looked at each other and burst out laughing.

"I can't believe I said that," Loki said.

Steve shook his head. "Neither can I," Steve said.

The older couple rose from their seats.

"Look, we're no one to give great advice…but you never know…sometimes things really do happen for a reason," Elaine said. She adjusted her glasses on the bridge of her nose and smiled at them. "Take care of yourselves, boys," she said as she walked away.

Bill glanced at his watch. "Our flight leaves in an hour so we're going to head out. It was nice meeting you two. And thanks," he said.

"For what?" Steve asked.

"I don't know. For giving us that final push, I suppose," he said.

Steve and Loki watched the strange couple as they walked away.

"And I thought Asgard was strange," Loki muttered as he began to eat his pancakes.

Steve shook his head and dug into his eggs. "So, is this what being married is like?" Steve asked.

Loki looked up at him and shrugged. He reached over with his fork and speared some of Steve's eggs.

"Not sure, but I'll take advantage of it while I can," he said as he shoveled the eggs into his mouth.

Steve's eye flitted to the ring once more that was still nestled on Loki's finger. It looked almost as though it belonged there. He reached over and took some of the pancake that Loki had so meticulously cut up into little squares.

"So will I," Steve said with a grin. "You know what I just realized?" Steve asked.

"What?" Loki said.

"You beat Thor to the altar," Steve said.

Loki laughed. "I did, didn't I?" he said.

"He won't be pleased."

"I'm always stealing his spotlight."

"You need to control that."

"It's hard being this fabulous."

Steve laughed. He observed Loki's face. "You know, I think…I've liked you for a long time, I just didn't know how to say it," he said. He quickly looked down and focused hard on his eggs.

"I think I've also liked you but I was unsure…as to whether you would be…interested," Loki admitted.

"She's right though, what happens here, stays here, we could go get it annulled. No one would ever have to know. I'm sure none of them will remember anyway," Steve said.

Loki looked at him sadly. "Just when I was getting used to having a husband," he joked.

Steve stuck his fork into his eggs and shrugged. "Or we could wait a bit and see what happens," he said casually.

Loki looked up at him and grinned. "You sure you want to do that? You might not like what happens," Loki warned.

"I'm a big boy, I think I can handle it," Steve said with a smile.

"I also think it will be great fun making everyone…"

"Freak out?" Steve finished.

Loki laughed. "Exactly," he said.

Steve extended his left hand over their meal to Loki and Loki gripped his hand tightly. Their rings twinkled in the light and Steve smiled.

"Loki, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

Loki smiled at Steve.  "Steve, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful marriage."

**Author's Note:**

> So, let me know what you think! Hope you enjoyed it :)


End file.
